Chapter 4 - TWO BABIES, ONE LIE
The drive to my mother’s house felt strangely quiet.
Rain began tapping against the windshield halfway there.
Lily woke once.
She made a tiny sound in the back seat.
My mother reached over and touched my hand.
“You knew the baby was his?”
“Yes.”
“For two months?”
“Yes.”
She turned toward the window.
I knew she was trying not to cry.
My mother had loved Daniel.
She had defended him whenever I complained that he worked too much.
She had brought him soup when he had pneumonia.
She had called him the son she never had.
Betrayal does not only injure the spouse.
It spreads outward.
Like cracks in glass.
When we reached her house, I carried Lily upstairs.
I changed her diaper.
Fed her.
Rocked her until she slept again.
Normal things.
That was what saved me during those months.
Daniel’s secrets felt enormous.
But babies still needed bottles.
Laundry still needed folding.
Morning still came.
I laid Lily in the bassinet beside the guest bed.
My phone vibrated.
Daniel.
I ignored it.
It rang again.
Then again.
Then messages began arriving.
CALL ME.
WE NEED TO FIX THIS.
YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO INVOLVE MY PARENTS.
YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE A MONSTER.
I stared at that one.
Not “I betrayed you.”
Not “I’m sorry.”
Not “I hurt our family.”
He was angry because I had made him look like what he had chosen to become.
Another message arrived.
CHLOE IS AT THE HOSPITAL.
I placed the phone face down.
Thirty seconds later, it rang again.
This time the number was unknown.
I almost ignored it.
Something made me answer.
“Hello?”
For several seconds, nobody spoke.
Then a woman said my name.
“Jennifer?”
I knew the voice before she introduced herself.
Chloe.
My entire body went cold.
“Yes.”
She exhaled.
“I know you hate me.”
“I don’t know you well enough to hate you.”
Silence.
Then she started crying.
I had imagined this woman for months.
Sometimes I imagined her cruel.
Sometimes beautiful.
Sometimes smug.
Sometimes terrified.
The reality sounded exhausted.
“Daniel told me you knew.”
I looked toward Lily’s bassinet.
“When?”
“Months ago.”
My fingers tightened around the phone.
“He told me you knew about us.”
I said nothing.
“He said your marriage was over.”
“He said you were staying together until after Lily was born because you didn’t want stress during the pregnancy.”
There it was.
A second story.
A second version of me.
Chloe continued.
“He said you agreed he could move on.”
“No.”
Her breathing changed.
“He said you were basically separated.”
“No.”
“He said the baptism was something you both wanted to get through before announcing the divorce.”
“No.”
Chloe began crying harder.
I should have felt satisfaction.
I did not.
Daniel had built two cages.
He had simply painted them different colors.
“Where is he?” I asked.
“He was supposed to come here.”
“He isn’t here?”
“No.”
That surprised me.
His son was being born.
And Daniel was apparently still dealing with the consequences of the ballroom.
Chloe lowered her voice.
“There’s something else.”
I waited.
“He told me the money he sent was his.”
I closed my eyes.
Of course he had.
“He said you kept separate finances.”
“We didn’t.”
“I didn’t know.”
“You knew he was married.”
“Yes.”
Her answer was immediate.
At least she did not insult me by denying it.
“I knew he was married.”
“I believed him when he said it was over.”
My voice stayed flat.
“You also wrote that you wanted me out of your lives.”
Silence.
She knew exactly which message I meant.
“I was angry.”
“You were planning my removal from my own family.”
“I know.”
A long silence passed.
Then I heard voices near her.
A nurse.
A door.
Someone asking about contractions.
Chloe whispered.
“Jennifer, Daniel told me something about you.”
I waited.
“He told me he had proof that you were unstable.”
My skin went cold.
“What proof?”
“He said he had recordings.”
I sat up straighter.
“What recordings?”
“I don’t know.”
“He said he had been documenting things since Lily was born.”
My heart began pounding.
“Did he show you anything?”
“One video.”
“What was on it?”
“You were crying in the kitchen.”
I remembered that night.
Lily had screamed for nearly four hours.
I had slept maybe ninety minutes.
Daniel had come downstairs and found me sitting on the floor beside the dishwasher.
I was crying silently while sterilizing bottles.
He had knelt beside me.
He had rubbed my shoulders.
He had told me I was doing a wonderful job.
And somewhere during that moment, he had been recording me.
I felt sick.
Chloe whispered.
“There was another thing.”
“What?”
“A notebook.”
The room seemed to narrow around me.
May you like
“What notebook?”
“He called it the Lily log.”
